though i wouldn't say it anymore.

I do hate to have those hits by bouts of dizzy spells occasionally, when I don't know what's wrong and I just to have to lie down and close my eyes and wait for it to pass. It happens sometimes, when I wake up exceptionally early by my own standards. My chest feels constricted and there seems to be a war going on inside my stomach. Disgusting.

I figure I'm not exactly governed by practical, or pragmatic thoughts. I'm more of an idealist, made confused by cynicism. Still, I don't believe in making out a theory, getting an explanation or reason out of everything. Or perhaps it's made so because I can't find one, or I don't get one most of the times. You seek the answers, the reasons, to make yourself convinced of what you have seemingly chosen. But sometimes, just a I-don't-know will suffice. And maybe, that would really be the most apt.

It's just a cold, hard and bitter world. Search less for the same cold, hard, bitter and realistic things the world has to offer. Have a little bit of imagination. Or perhaps, it's just because having a foot in reality makes it so hard to bear for me.