just want, to smile like before.

No time for proper lunch, no time for coffee today. And I cannot have my coffee now because it will kill me instead. It's so hard, going without coffee for a day. Getting harder, getting harder, I don't know why. My hands tremble without it.

I see all the work piling over now. It scares the fuck out of me. Luckily for a sweet professor who gives us Yanyan and Kinder Bueno to reward us for our hard work. Such gestures, buy me over totally. I'm such a cheapskate.


This sense of dread, unhappiness, low affect and everything bad is ubiquitous. Tell me, why do you haunt me so?