and if you wait for someone else's hand, you'll fall, you'll fall

Coming back seemed to make time come to a standstill, with all the familiarity around me threatening to swallow me whole, instead of providing me with some sense of comfort it should. Maybe I'm really better off somewhere else, drowning in the thousand of things I could possibly do, leaving no time left for myself, and just wait for the day I would finally break down in exhaustion.

And Grey's is crazily heartbreaking.

Meredith: "As doctors we can't undo our mistakes, and we rarely forgive ourselves for them. But, it's a hazard of the trade. But, as human beings we can always try to do better. To be better. To right a wrong. Even when it feels irreversible. Of course, I'm sorry doesn't always cut it. Maybe because we use it so many different ways. As a weapon. As an excuse. But, when we are really sorry, when we use it right. When we mean it. When our actions say what words never can. When we get it right "I'm sorry" is perfect. When we get it right, "I'm sorry" is redemption."

Meredith: "Did you say it? 'I love you. I don't ever want to live without you. You changed my life.' Did you say it? Make a plan. Set a goal. Work toward it, but every now and then, look around; Drink it in 'cause this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow."

I could sit here forever, just because.