The sun is shining so brightly outside lo. I need a tan. The whiter I get, the more depressed I am. Sad. When I study at home alone I always end up walking around the house. Walk walk here and there can waste alot of time one lo, suddenly the day is gone already. And when I have my laptop in front of me I always have this urge to buy alot alot of things I don't know why. But of course I will control myself lahh. Luckily I'll only feel like this when I'm at the brink of insanity from studying.

I want to go to alot alot of places, to get out of here. I want to try alot alot of nice food which I've yet got the time for. I want to go kbox. I want to do many many things, which are unfortunately usually conveniently forgotten when the free time actually comes. Hahaha. Why is it like that. I need some adrenalin, some excitement in my life.

I also want to save alot alot of money. But first, maybe somebody can get me a nice and small and cute piggy bank so I can dong my money inside. Okay, maybe I can just go find a gong and hopefully many many one dollar coins will appear in it soon.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

it seems so long, so long.

I'm finally sitting down and typing something here. Hahaa. Last Wednesday was Melissa's 21st birthday celebration. We had dinner at a Peranakan restaurant. The food was good, finally something different from what we've always been having. And I'm soooo happy, because I took a picture with my big big monkey! :) He is hot one lahh. Hahaha.


We all went down to MOS after that and since we finished dinner pretty early, we got into MOS really damn early too. Damn paiseh lah, walking into an almost empty club. Hahaha. But it's okay, cuz we got good and comfortable seats that cost a bomb. And all the drinks that were opened that day were Chivas and Martell and I felt like an uncle drinking those. If it weren't for the cai quan games we had and that I kept losing, I wouldn't even have touched it at all lo. I'm still young so I prefer kiddy drinks like vodka and daiquiri. Hahaa.


I didn't really like MOS lehz. The music wasn't that great and I didn't feel high dancing in the Smoove area at all. The stupid cage was bloody packed lah. I think we ended up spending most of our time in the nice toilets lahh. And I was thinking of my Xiaoshouzhi dancing away happily in Zouk lah. But I've decided not to love him anymore because he doesn't care about me at all. Waste my time one lehz, damn sad. Hahhaa.



Okay it's time to study. I feel as if I've been mugging for very very long already but why doesn't my brain feels as if information are getting in. Sighh. I need my caffeine fix.

School makes me damn damn tired. I just feel like mugging everyday. Hahaa. Damn sad.

I didn't actually want to blog today because I have nothing much to say these days although it seemed as if many many things happened still. But friend brought me for a short spin in his hot mazda 3 sp today so I must comment lo. Hahhaa. I love mazdas alot alot because big monkey's car is also a mazda so I've grown to love it and to have a radar for detecting mazdas. Hahaa. Although friend's mazda is not sizzling red or sleek black or cool white, it is still cool and hot! And when I sit in a car, I always will have a xingfudeganjue because I rarely get to be driven around in one. So when I saw the blue car I really wanted to go hug it, but I forgot. Hahaha. Next time then, but maybe it'll be 100000years later? Hahhaa. And thank you friend for driving me to macdonalds to get an ice cream! I almost forgot how yummy hot fudge sundae is lah. It is really damn damn nice. :)

Okay, I have lost the touch to write? Hahhaa.

I didn't mean to skip my lecture today. The very first I skipped this semester. It just doesn't feel right because I'm not supposed to. Hahaa. I've kicked away the bad habit of being super late for lectures or just skipping them totally. So it will not happen again!! But I woke up this morning with a splitting headache and my eyes just refused to open. And it was raining. And so I succumbed.

Coffee keeps me sane, while I crumble inwardly, unknowingly.

What's tearing my head apart, I want to know.

This bloody semester is really damn stressful with all the work and lousy timetable which makes me have absolutely no time for any proper work to be done on school days. Content wise, everything scares and baffles me. There are tons of projects at hand which I can't even comprehend the possibility of finishing them on time. And all the midterms that are approaching. I hate modules with both projects and midterms and everything lah. They are really out to kill damn it.

But the prospects of late nights coupled with coffee kind of excites me I don't know why. Hahhaa. And I feel really really happy when I get to see people I love so so much and yet have so few chances to see.

Sometimes, I seem to see somebody else in the mirror.

even the rain makes me sad.

It's been raining everyday lah. The rain was damn big when I was making my way to my student's house and I was still drenched and cold even though I had an umbrella because the rain was pouring relentlessly and the wind was blowing crazily. And I almost died walking along the narrow pavement beside the road because the cars were zooming past and splashing water everywhere. But I still got splashed by this damn lorry when I was at the traffic light although I already took a big step back lahh. But okay, at least I was wearing shorts, so only my legs were wet. Hahaa.

And I didn't mean to, but I took a nap because the cold made my head split terribly again. I don't know why, maybe I do, but my head seems to split too much these days.

Sometimes, maybe is never.

Some overdue photos from birthday celebrations!




I'm just damn damn bored.

My legs are really blind. I'll knock into countless things these days wherever I walk. When I wanted to walk into the toilet at home, I just kind of veered sideways and hit my toes against the side of the door instead. It wasn't as if the door was closed lah. The pathway into the toilet was so big. Sighh. And there's this huge blue black on the inside of my legs near the knees. I don't know how I got that but there's like one on each leg which seem to coincide with each other so I'm guessing I banged my legs together somehow? It's damn ugly lah. :(

Now I'm slowly starting to love being in school till late although it makes me tired. That's because I get to see the people I love so so much and we'll always have nice dinners together. And I'll get high and happy sometimes when I'm tired, it makes everything seem easier to handle. So when I'm home I'll be so tired I'll just sleep almost immediately. Then there'll be less time to think and worry about things. And now when the weekends are here, they just seem more difficult to bear somehow.

And I'm slowly becoming someone I never wanted to be.