her eyes spat tears the taste of rust

Coffee does magic to me. And yet, it's like a drug that I've become highly dependent on of late. Maybe soon, it'll just be like poison in my veins. But I'm so fucking tired and I can't get to sleep it sucks.

I love wearing caps these days. It makes me feel very protected physically. I'll wear it when I don't feel like seeing the world, when I don't want anybody to see me. It's amazing, just by bending my head down a little, the whole world seems to disappear for that instant. If only it'll stay that way. And for all the days I've been to school this week, I wore a cap every single day. And so you see, I hope the world would just miraculously disappear under my eyes. I feel as if, I'll need to hide underneath it for the many many days to come.

There seems to be so many questions thrown at me these days I'm getting weary. Actually not exactly weary either, maybe it's just that I hate it when I can't come up with answers, when I feel that I have no capacity left in me to conjure up reasons for things that happen. I don't feel like I'm in any position to give any answers to other people anymore when I can't even find the answers I want myself.

I feel, delirious.