her eyes spat tears the taste of rust

I’ve never liked positivity. Optimism seems to me like something that people adopt to try and feel better about things in life, to indulge in endless self-delusion. Perhaps it’s just all a facade really. Do you really get comfort, from trying so hard to look at the bright side of things all the time? Don’t you get tired from all these? If you would just snap in the middle of it, won’t the sudden realization of it be so much worse than if it was otherwise?

When my head hurts like fuck and my shoulder aches like fuck, I really don’t know what to think anymore. It makes me feel very very disillusioned.