and it couldn't be any clearer

I can't stand the feeling of some thoughts constantly playing over and over in my head, like no matter how hard I try to shut them out, they just keep coming back. And the more I think about it, the more irritated I'll get and wished I could have just expressed it there and then. But sometimes my words just lag behind my thoughts quite a bit, so it doesn't happen that way.

Still I couldn't fathom what made you said what you did. Gloating? Bragging? Or just merely making a joke? I just couldn't comprehend. I seriously didn't see the need for that response and I didn't find it funny definitely. Like seriously? And I so didn't expect it. But all I could muster was to laugh it off, because, what else? Sulk my way through or throw a fit or what? It didn't matter that much I know, but I just didn't like hearing that. That wasn't any point in making that statement at all, you know. And at a subconscious level, it really kinda ruined my mood quite a bit. Perhaps it's just the time, that has caused this distance, this gap of understanding, this lack of common ground.

On another note, things couldn't be clearer than this now. Maybe I didn't think you were this sort of person, maybe I expected otherwise. But I guess I was just wrong. Many things that I did believe in, principles which I held myself by, have all been refuted by reality, nothing less. But maybe I shouldn't lump my expectations on others. But it's fine, it works well in my favor. And I'm glad, I'm not like you, and I'll forever remind myself never to be, however slight.